I'm just plain bad at critical moments.

It's that feeling, always creeping behind you, knowing that in retrospect that you could have made things much much much better. Your choice of words, sentence structure, body language, actions and reactions. Things could have possibly gone so much better. In the moment, yeah, you thought you did all you could. But recount the story and all you can think is "Damn, I could have nailed it".

I'm talking about critical points in life. Times when you know it's a point of no return. That's why I'm particularly bad at long farewells. If someone goes away for more than 2 months, you can feel it. Some call it being a little over-sensitive, but I guess that's me. I like appreciating the people who make a difference in my life - they are the ones that make living interesting.

The last time one of my best friends left Singapore for Shanghai for about 6 weeks, sure it wasn't 2 months, but it was bad enough. You may think "Yeah, you've got the internet man - it solves things". Last time I checked, the internet is the place which leaks private sex tapes, hosts trolls who break little girls' spirits and rule 34. Consequences will never be the same. The internet helps maintain a bridge, but the feeling is hardly the same.

I may be able to see you face to face, but it doesn't mean I can hold you while you're crying. I may be able to hear your voice, but I can't bring you our nostalgic places to reminisce about life. That's how I felt countless about the people close to my heart who walked through the Departure gates of Changi Airport, and who the next time I saw were on Skype with me. My mother, Wei Ren, Jon and even Sab. Mama went to Manchester for her Masters Degree. Wei went to Shanghai for girls and studies (but definitely not the study of girls). Jon went to Perth for a good time with Randall. And Sab for her exceptionally expensive honeymoon.

Maybe it's just me, but physical distance actually counts for something. Even on holidays, I can sometimes feel like something's missing. After a day of travelling, and you're back in your hotel room, sometimes all you think is "Man, I would really like to share this moment with so-and-so". And then, you get all excited about the stories you wanna share with everyone when you get back home.

I think that's why coming home to warm smiles feels so emotionally liberating.

Surprisingly though I learned a lesson of life from an unexpected source, quote "It's quite amazing if a friendship can last through distance and time, especially long ones - it's the true mark of a great friendship". Okay, it wasn't exactly word for word. It was originally in Mandarin, so I just refined it and made it English. Sounds better anyway.

So I continue to countdown. Some people like Wei who are scheduled to come back in 5 months, and others like Vicky who are supposedly coming back in 2 years - it's tough. These are some of the people whom are really important to me. Critical even. Yeah, I have some great people around me here already too, i.e the rest of my awesome crew, but everyone brings a bit to the table. When you're missing a part, it's never the same.

But best friends stand the test of time.

And yes, just like fine wine.